Plan Your Wedding - Episode 3 Holiday Engagements

Can you believe that Christmas was 5 days ago? Did your partner pop the question? You know, the “will you marry me” question?

I’m Brandy Blackford, an award-winning wedding planner with Sweet I Do’s and the producer of the Arizona Online Wedding Show. You’re in the right place if you’re ready to plan your wedding!

Let’s get started!

Intro

Getting engaged is so very exciting! And that moment and the excitement following it can be so amazing and sometimes it tends to overwhelm everything else that is happening.

How can you keep the excitement and still celebrate the holidays?

Here are a few tips.

Don’t spend the entire holiday talking about the wedding. Enjoy being engaged and enjoy celebrating the holidays with your family and friends. I know, it’s hard. You’re excited, but those holidays won’t come again, and you have the entire rest of your engagement to talk about and plan your wedding.

I recommend that you be the one to set the boundaries. Ask your family to keep wedding talk to a minimum, they’ll be plenty of time in the new year.

Of course, this is aside from the initial “we’re engaged” conversation. This you need to have as soon after the ask as possible. I talk about why in the episode “I’m engaged! Now What??”

Your mileage may vary. If your family isn’t a big celebrator of the holidays, then enjoy talking all about your engagement and wedding!

Continue to be part of your community and family gatherings. You may want to hunker down and start all the research. Resist the urge. Holidays and family can be stressful all on their own. Add in trying to start planning your wedding and you’ll end up frustrated and stressed.

Venues and event pros are either working holiday events, holiday weddings or taking some time off before the season starts again, celebrating with their families and friends. Couple this with reduced staffing in general because of post-pandemic staffing issues and response times will be long. Why put yourself through that stress and drama during the holiday season?

Finally, be aware that talking about money and family invites during the holidays may cause stress. Studies have shown that holidays can bring out the bad in some family relationships – old grudges, new grudges, blame for past mistakes, relatives that pressure family for future commitments, anxiety over money and even the beginnings of the whole whose family do we spend which holiday with issues. 

All this being said, only you know your family. If your engagement needs to be the talk of the town, then talk it up! Grab a bottle of champagne, get the manicure and take all the ring pics!

There are a ton of steps and decisions to make after this, but for now, enjoy being engaged and I’ll see you next week!

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Plan Your Wedding - Episode 2 I'm Planning A Wedding! Yay?

You’re planning your wedding! Yay!!! Right???? Maybe not. Those feelings of overwhelm are real and totally normal. Let’s talk it out.

I’m Brandy Blackford, an award-winning wedding planner with Sweet I Do’s and the producer of the Arizona Online Wedding Show. You’re in the right place if you’re ready to plan your wedding!

Let’s get started!

Intro

Wedding planning is complicated any time of year, add the holiday stress into the mix and the overwhelm can be huge.

You may be just starting the planning journey, be halfway done or about to say “I do”. Family is going to be curious at a minimum or they may be downright demanding. All of which can add to your feelings of overwhelm.

I tell my clients that I’m their ally and advocate. Anything that seems like it will cause family drama I say to blame on me, that way that decision doesn’t become an issue for future gatherings.

However, if you don’t have a planner, find a friend that can be your ally, the person you can vent to. I recommend this not be your partner because sometimes you may need to say things in the heat of the moment that they may not take really well. No reason to cause stress or a fight during the holidays over a momentary vent.

I also tell my clients to set boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about wedding plans, say something like – “hey family, I know you’re all super excited for our wedding. We’re working through all the details and will share all the information as soon as we make some final decisions.” Or “We’re so excited to spend our holidays with you! We’d really like the focus to stay on the holiday moments and not on our wedding. Promise we’ll start working on all the wedding plans after the new year and we’ll share all the details then.”

If you have to talk wedding because the decision makers or detail givers are all together, again set the boundaries, limit the scope of the conversation and say something like – “We want to talk about the guest list (or whatever topic you need to talk about) for our wedding. After we get through that, we’d really like to enjoy spending the holidays with you.”

If your family still persists, pull out the big guns and just say “this is a no wedding talk day. Thanks for respecting our decision to focus on the holidays!”

Here are some other ways to prevent overwhelm.

Use a checklist like the one I’ve linked to below. It will help you know what needs to happen when during the planning process. If you are nearing the end of planning, you may have some deadlines that are firm, but you should know what those are in advance. Check off the deadlines before they are due and then you’ll be ready to relax and enjoy the holidays.

Know that you aren’t alone in the planning process. Your partner is willing (more than likely) to help you with the planning. But you do have to ask and even harder accept, their help.

Realize that wedding planning can be put on hold, for a short period of time, during the holidays. Know that response times will be longer from venues and wedding pros because they will be either working holiday events or taking time off to celebrate with family and friends.

Finally, shameless plug, hire a wedding planner. It’s our job to take on the stress and let you enjoy your engagement and planning. Good planners will structure your planning journey to give you much needed breaks throughout the planning process.

Enjoy being engaged, enjoy the planning process and I’ll see you next week!

Hit the red subscribe button and the bell icon to be the first to know when I publish a new video!

Plan Your Wedding - Episode 1 I'm Engaged!!!! Now What?

I’m part of some amazing local FB wedding groups and one of the questions that I see all the time is – I’ve just gotten engaged!!!! What do I do now?

I’m Brandy Blackford, an award-winning wedding planner with Sweet I Do’s and the producer of the Arizona Online Wedding Show. You’re in the right place if you’re ready to plan your wedding!  

Let’s get started!

Intro

You’ve gotten engaged!! Yay! How exciting! But now what?

First, tell your VIP’s. Try to do this in person if possible, via face time if you can’t. Don’t change your status until you’ve let all those important people know. Nothing is worse than finding out someone you love is getting married via social media (unless you’re a tik tok junky). Plus, you’ll want to find out if there are any months those people you can’t imagine not being there aren’t available.

Next, it’s time to talk about money. I know, not a sexy topic. But this one will totally determine what you do next. Have a super serious discussion about how much you are comfortable spending yourselves and then, if you want, you can approach your family and ask them if they were planning to help out.

Just be prepared that anyone that contributes money will also feel like they have a say in what that money is spent on. I always advise couples that are getting help to get that money in advance, so they don’t have to play the ask and wait to receive game complete with the gotta get permission to buy that first discussion.

A word of caution here, do not go into debt for your wedding. Let me say that again. Do not go into debt for your wedding. If all you can afford is the marriage license, then consider a courthouse wedding or a longer engagement to save more money. The average cost of a wedding in Arizona for 100 guests is $32,000. I’ve put together an amazing budget guide for Arizona weddings. Use the link below.

So, you’ve told your family, you’ve changed your status and you have an idea as to how much money you want to spend on your wedding. What’s left? Well, a lot actually but the last 2 are tied very closely to your budget.

You need to set a date and have an estimated guest list. I know, I know. You just got engaged, you have no idea when or who you want at your wedding. But, securing your venue (one of the first steps you take next), is going to be dependent on your date and the number of people you want to celebrate with you.

A few tips when selecting your date – unless you have a date in mind and can’t be flexible (remember that discussion you had with your family about availability) one of the ways to save money is to pick an off-season month or day of the week. In Arizona, off-season months are typically the middle of May through the middle of September (for good reason, soooo hot!!!) and off-season days of the week are Monday through Thursday. Also, a morning or brunch wedding may save you some money as well.

As for estimating your guest count, figure out who those people are that you just wouldn’t get married if they weren’t there – family & friends. Then, have a separate running list of those you would like to invite, but would be okay if they couldn’t make it. Having those 2 numbers will allow you to choose a venue that is the right size and make catering and bar selections that fit your budget.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy as my littles like to say. There are a ton of steps and decisions to make after this, but for now, enjoy being engaged and I’ll see you next week!

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