You Can't Save Money By Avoiding the "W" Word

And trying to lie about it may cost you in the end!

You've gotten engaged and are busily planning your wedding. You think you have a good idea what everything will cost. You start shopping around and discover almost everything seems to cost more that you expected!!!

The Myth

You do a little research and think you've discovered the reason - everyone out there (i.e. all the "experts" on the internet) claim that you're paying more because you're using the word "wedding". That there is this huge conspiracy of professionals that are part of the "wedding industry complex" just waiting to take advantage of you.

The Reality

Wedding professionals do typically charge more for a wedding. Now, I know what you are thinking - "I told you I was getting taken advantage of by saying it was for a wedding. I'm just  gonna say it's for a party and save some $$$$!"

You may save some money, but you will lose many, many things.

The Losses

1. You'll lose your professionals trust. It's not a great way to start a relationship by lying to your vendors/professionals. They won't trust you for the rest of the night and trust is a hard thing to work without.

2. You may void your contract by lying. Big deal right? Once they show up what are they going to do, leave? No way! They'll still do the work, so you win a discounted fee for the same service, right? Wrong!!! They can chose to leave, to refuse to work unless their fee (probably at a higher cost then if you had just told them the truth) is paid or hold your end product hostage until you pay up.

3. They won't be properly prepared for your wedding. Dressed in shorts and a t-shirt because you lied and said it was a casual party versus dress clothes - a real possibility! Show up a little late because timing isn't critical to a birthday party - sure thing! Bring the incorrect items or amount of items because you didn't give an accurate head count or portray the importance of no substitutions - count on it! Reduce the amount of staffing because it is just a party and has no critical moments or needs any extra care - yep! And the list can go on and on...

4. You'll lose the time and extra care that goes into a wedding. I know, I know, every event should have the same amount of time and care, but reality is a wedding is a one time, one shot deal. Every pro that I know takes a little more time, a little more care, puts little more work in when they know that they have one chance to capture/work/create that once in a life moment.

Truth

Do you want to know why products and services cost more for a wedding?

Because there is a level of expectation with a wedding that doesn't exist with most other events.

Photographers capture more images, have more people to pose, have a vested interest in making sure that every single image is flawless. And to do this it takes TIME and TALENT, both of which cost money.

Florists hunt up the most perfect blooms they can find, spend extra time arranging and rearranging those blooms, spend extra time ensuring each and every flower will withstand the rigors of posing, moving and handling that occurs during a wedding. This takes TIME and TALENT.

Bakers spend more time ensuring that every decoration, every angle of a wedding cake is perfect. Typically a head baker handles the wedding cakes and an apprentice or new team member handles low key event cakes to "practice" on.

Do you see the recurring theme here - TIME and TALENT.

Weddings take more time and talent to execute. To get that Pinterest/IG worthy wedding takes time and talent.

Time and talent rightfully cost more money. You wouldn't be happy if someone came into your place of employment, had half the skills and education you did and worked half the time you do, but made the same salary as you. Why would you expect your wedding professionals to work for less and produce more?

I know this seems preachy, and it is. This lie that we charge you more just because has got to die. We charge more because we do more. If you don't see how or understand why, please just ask. We'll be happy to explain all the more that you get when we are working a wedding versus any other event.

Did You Really Hire That Vendor? - Why You Need to Double Check and Then Check Again

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You've been busily planning your wedding for months.

You've reached out to a ton of vendors and picked your favorites.

You're fairly certain that everything on your checklist is completed and all the t's are crossed and the i's are dotted.

STOP!!!

If you don't have a planner or coordinator working for you to follow up and ensure that everything is done, contracted, paid for and confirmed, you need to take a step back and look at everything again.

What you need to look for

Starting with your venue and going down the list of all of your vendors and yes, even those small Etsy purchases and Amazon Prime shipments, double check that 

1. Every contract has been fully executed and details out specifically what you are getting and when you will be getting it. If you don't have a contract, double check that the receipt shows paid in full, what you ordered and when you will receive it.

2. That all payments have cleared your account. Regardless if you paid by debit card, check, auto-withdrawal or some other form of payment check to make sure you can prove that you have paid everything in full.

3. Remember that conversation you had with your florist after your consultation about adding an extra corsage to your order and that you wanted flowers for the cake? Check to make sure it got added (and paid for if necessary).

4. Keep track of all online purchases and make sure that you completed the transaction and you know when the items will arrive. Be diligent if your estimated shipping date has passed and reach out to get a revised date. 

5. If you aren't sure that something will be provided, ask the question. It's better to ask and find out you need to get it versus expecting it and having no way to get it on your wedding day.

I have coordinated so many weddings where something was implied or casually discussed and never made it into the actual orders for the wedding - cake stands, extra flowers for the cake, cake toppers, cute favors that never shipped, things that got delayed and couldn't be used at the wedding and couldn't be sold or returned afterwards. Protect yourself from that moment of sadness when you realize that something that meant enough to you to find and order it or ask for won't be happening - track your vendors and purchases and revisit this list frequently to ensure everything is exactly the way you want it and arrives on time!

Bonus!!!

You can use this checklist of purchases when packing everything to take to the venue, then nothing will get left behind!

Waiting to Hire Your Wedding Vendors at the Last Minute? 5 Reasons You May Want to Change Your Mind

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I know there are a TON of articles out there telling you about all the amazing deals you can get if you wait until the last minute to book your wedding vendors. What I found interesting was none of them addressed the things that can go wrong if you wait until the last minute. Always one to remedy a known deficiency in providing information (lol), here are the horrible, bad and just annoying things that can happen if you wait to hire your wedding day team.

1. Limited choice

And by limited choice we mean in both actual vendors that are available and dates that are open. Usually the "best" vendors, venues and dates are booked a year (or more in advance). While you may luck out, that is truly what you are doing, spinning that luck wheel and hoping it lands on what you've been dreaming of. Reality is you will probably be settling on almost all of it. But we still say spin the wheel, reach out to your preferred venue and vendors and ask about your date. 

2. Limited selection

While you may score a great deal with your florist, cake, or caterer, chances are you may end up sacrificing your wants and dreams for what they "can get on short notice". I've had clients ask for a candy or dessert table the week of their wedding. While normally I can accommodate them, they are limited on what I can provide to what is locally available or what I may have on hand. Sometimes they are really disappointed that they can't have their favorite treats in their very specific wedding colors. If you are going to go this route, be super flexible and roll with what can be procured for your fabulous wedding.

3. Potentially booking a weekend warrior, a new vendor lacking in experience or the vendor that no one else wants to book

I hate this one as it implies that ALL weekend warriors or new vendors are bad. They aren't. But there are pitfalls associated with hiring them. They may not have the flexibility to meet with you in your very limited time frame (and it will cause you stress trying to work into their schedule). They may not have the knowledge to quickly and efficiently work their way into your wedding timeline. As for being left with the vendors that no one wants to book, that is a definite possibility if you wait until the absolute last moment to hire a pivotal vendor. In some cases however, something is better than nothing. Don't skip a vendor just because they may be new or only work on the weekends.

4. Being forced to hire someone without being able to do all the research and vetting needed

A condensed time frame to hire means you have little to no time to research and compare vendors. To look and see if they have a license, insurance and are a proper business. To get references or look at reviews. In a nut shell, no time to actually make a thoughtful considered decision. I would think twice before I hired a critical vendor that can't quickly and easily provide at least proof of insurance and a business license.

5. Thinking you're going to get the deal of a lifetime

You may, or you may end up paying rush fees and premiums, or you may pay exactly the same as if you had booked months earlier. There is no guarantee that any vendor or venue will cut you a deal, just because they happen to be available. Some vendors may feel that you don't value their profession because you waited. Some may prefer to work for full price or not work at all. And some may be thrilled to fill a date in on their calendar, even if it means working for a little less than normal. Be prepared to pay full price, but it doesn't hurt to ask the question on if they offer a discount. The answer is always no until you ask the question.

If you're a flexible couple that truly just wants to get married and doesn't want to (or can't wait to) tie the knot, go for it! Look up a fabulous coordinator (like Sweet I Do's) to help with all the details and make everything run as smooth as possible.

3 Things to Consider Before Hiring a "Part-Time" Wedding Vendor

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Let me tell you a story. It is 4:30 in the afternoon of an amazing day.

I have a super cute couple that will be walking down the aisle at 5:00.

My assistant and I are in the reception hall setting up the final details when a friend of the bride asks me

where the flowers for the bride and bridesmaids are.

I’m slightly perplexed as I spoke with the florist and she assured me that everything was set and ready to go. I go over to the bridal suite and look around. I see a cascading orchid bouquet that is falling apart, a few individual calla lilies and not much else.

I text the florist (this is the only way she will communicate as she has a full time job that doesn’t allow her to take phone calls during the day) and ask where the bouquets are at

and I will never forget her response –

“when I went to the wholesaler yesterday, the roses that the client wanted didn’t look right so I just substituted individual calla lilies instead.”

I was floored and the bride is almost in tears.

Communication was rough all along with this vendor, but for her to make the call to just change the order, without prior knowledge or agreement of the client was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

While I took up this huge mistake with the vendor I was driving to the local Trader Joe’s (this was a destination wedding) picked up some gorgeous white roses, created beautiful hand tied bouquets and my couple walked down the aisle on time (this is the main reason I highly recommend you hire a wedding coordinator by the way).

So there is a happy ending and a moral to the story.

Throughout the whole process this vendor was difficult to talk to, she could only meet on certain days, at certain times and would only communicate through text. She would not return phone calls, would not confirm details and was very unprofessional. She was a weekend warrior and didn’t take the commitment she made to clients, that paid her, very seriously. While not all part-time vendors are this egregious when it comes to taking care of clients, it does happen more often than not.

In the end my team was able to save the day, maintain the timeline and stave off tears and stress, but we shouldn’t have had to.

When choosing your vendors, don’t be afraid to ask the question – “Do you do this full time?” and if the answer is no find out what limits their job will place on their ability to do their job properly.

1. Limited availability

Part-time vendors usually can only meet when they are not working or do not have other life commitments. While all vendors will have limits to their availability most full time vendors will have ample options during the day and at night, during the week and on weekends.

2. Unable or unwilling to utilize all forms of communication

Part-time vendors usually cannot take personal phone calls while they are working their “real” job. They may also be limited as to when they can check and respond to emails and text messages. Full-time vendors can answer their phones whenever they are not with another client or working with another client and have fewer limitations as to when they can respond to email and text.

3. Unprofessional business approach

Part-time vendors have a tendency to skip the necessary items to running a business – business licenses, insurance, contracts, back up plans and staff. Full-time vendors know that they are holding your dreams in their hands and they want to ensure that you have every confidence in them and their business.

While my story had a mostly happy ending, the vendor never apologized for the stress and drama she caused. She didn't willingly refund any money. She didn't care and that is probably the hardest lesson that clients that hire part-time vendors may have to learn - some of them just don't care about their clients.

Full disclosure and reality check - I have worked with loads of "part-time" vendors, but you would never know that they were running their business part-time. They are fabulous!! At the beginning of my journey I was a "part-time" vendor, but none of my clients knew it. It has a lot to do with you as a person, how well you can handle multiple tasks and how you structure your business. I won't say that you have to steer clear of "part-time" vendors, but do your due diligence and understand exactly what you will be signing up for. 

Happy Wedding Planning!

Don't Make This Wedding Budget Mistake - Plan For Gratuities, Thank You Gifts and/or Tips!

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When creating a wedding budget it is so easy to remember to account for all the big ticket items – venue, dress, photographer, flowers. But, it is easy to forget all the little things that can quickly add up. One of those little things that is usually forgotten is the gratuity or tip for your service providers. Should you tip every single person that provides a service? Not necessarily. But knowing who and how much ensures that your budget doesn’t take an unnecessary and unpleasant hit in the last few days leading up to your wedding. To help you make a more accurate budget and to navigate the tricky waters of tipping, we’ve created a handy checklist and provided a little bit of insight into the murky waters.

While no one should ever expect a tip or gratuity, certain service providers are almost always tipped, while others only receive one if they have done and amazing job and have went above and beyond what they were contracted to provide.

I am going to fly in the face of tradition on aspect of tipping – if a service provider (be they the owner of the company or just a hired employee) go above and beyond what they are contracted to provide, if they make everything more amazing than you ever felt possible, or provide you with those few extras that you wanted but couldn’t get, tip them. Going above and beyond their contract means that they didn’t include it in the cost of their original services and are not getting any money for doing it.

Wedding Planner –

Your wedding planner has been there from the beginning. They organized all of your hopes, dreams and ideas and kept you grounded when you needed it. They don’t expect a tip, but if they went above and beyond what you contracted them to do, show them you appreciate it. Send a heartfelt thank you card when you get back from your honeymoon (or before if you aren’t leaving right away) and include a tip or personal gift. If you can, include a few pictures that they can use in their portfolio of them in action.

Hair Stylist and Make Up Artist –

Your team of beauty experts has made you picture perfect for the day that you are the center of attention. You will have more pictures taken of you this day than you have since the day you were born and they are the ones that made sure that your look came together. Just as you would tip your salon stylist, tip your beauty team. Have a few blank thank you cards with you and jot down a quick note as your team is cleaning up to leave. Have a big bridal party utilizing their services? Have everyone write a few words in the card. When your photographer arrives, have him take a few pictures of the team in action and a few close ups of the amazing job they did and send them along when you get a chance.

Officiant –

Without your officiant, your wedding is just a wonderful party for you and your family. If your officiant has done an extraordinary job in telling your story, created an amazing and unique ceremony that is just for you, added elements that require research or additional work or have just done an outstanding job in performing your ceremony thank them by giving them a token of your appreciation. Ask in advance what the guidelines are for tipping your officiant. Church pastors, priests and rabbis may be prohibited from taking a personal cash gift, but you can make a donation to their personal fund or church.

Ceremony and Cocktail Musicians –

Ceremony musicians lend ambiance to your ceremony, they set the mood, may have to learn new songs and add that certain something to your wedding. Tip them if they have had to learn all new songs for your ceremony or if they have created something custom and unique just for you.

Photographer/Videographer –

These are the two vendors that give you lasting, concrete items from your wedding. They will spend hours on site with you and even more hours editing and putting together amazing albums and DVD’s for your viewing pleasure. Definitely tip any second shooters, as they are more than likely not getting an equal portion of the original contracted amount. Consider sending along a tip when you see your final products, or send your thank you cards, especially if they deliver their final product sooner than expected or if they throw in a few extras like prints or a teaser video.

Reception Staff –

Includes your venue coordinator, maître d’, banquet managers and servers. Check your contract and ask if the included service charge is a gratuity that will be split among the day of staff or if it is an additional fee. Also check if there is a gratuity line, to whom does it go to and how is it split. If anyone goes above and beyond, please tip them a little something extra, and offer any left over cake, food or favors to the staff. The same with any fresh flowers, who doesn’t love a little something pretty to take home?

Reception Attendants –

By attendants I don’t mean your bridal party, but the people that attend to the needs and wants of you and your guests – bartenders, wait-staff, parking attendants, bathroom attendants and coat-room attendants.  As with reception staff, check the contract for included service charges or gratuities and ask who will receive a portion and how the portion will be split. If there is no provision for these attendants, ask for a head count and plan accordingly.

Reception Band/DJ –

Responsible for so much more than just pushing play on a computer your reception band and DJ guide the flow of the party and assist your coordinator on keeping the reception on track and on time. Be especially aware of tipping this pro if you have asked for a number of obscure songs, have an extensive must play/do not play list or have a complicated reception that requires a large amount of emcee work. Make sure you take care of any sound technicians or other assistants that help with making your reception the party you wanted it to be.

Transportation –

Check your contract to see if this is included, but be prepared to tip your driver. Be generous if you ask for additional stops, run late, or have a mishap in the vehicle. Make sure to budget for guest transportation gratuities, as well as your own transportation. Generally be prepared to tip, in cash, after the last guest has been dropped off or you are safely ensconced in your hotel at the end of the night.

Optional vendors to tip – once again flying in the face of convention, there are a number of vendors that other resources will tell you not to tip, that I feel, if they have gone above and beyond, deserve a little note of appreciation.

Bridal Salon –

If the salon goes out of the way to ensure your clothing and accessories are to you by arranging for special delivery, adjusting their hours or fitting you in to a last minute appointment, send a note and some yummy cookies or flowers to the staff. The smaller bridal salons will also love reviews and a few professional pictures of their lovely gown and accessories as well.

Cake Baker –

Again if the baker goes above and beyond what they are contracted to do such as changing the cake and frosting flavors the night before, repairing a cake that has been damaged or working around a difficult delivery situation, send a note along with a tip and some amazing professional pictures for use in their advertising.

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Sweet I Do's is a wedding planning company located in Surprise, AZ (a suburb of Phoenix). We specialize in wedding day management (also known as day of coordination). We help you create an amazing, unique and totally "you" wedding that allows you to be in the moments making the memories, not worrying about the details. From contract review and timeline creation to day of management, set up and tear down, we're focused on ensuring our couples, their families and friends experience a stress and worry free night to remember.